


Dubsmash

by orphan_account



Category: Agent Carter (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, dubsmash war, honeslty i have no idea they're all children, kind of mentions of civil war but its a joke so idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4582020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony fight a lot. Naturally the only way to solve this is through dubsmash, right. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dubsmash

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this tumblr prompt http://piegodess.tumblr.com/post/125695504321/cartinelli-modern-au-where-peggy-and-angie-are from king-of-anythingg.  
> I have no idea if this is any good I wrote it at the end of my holiday and my brain kind of has gone kaput. Anyway i hope you enjoy it. It's a lot of dialogue and it might not make sense.

There’s a gasp of shock as the small group of friends gather around the remnants of a broken iPhone. Steve glares a Tony and Tony glares back. The friend group is split, torn, all because of a single comment and the domino effect.

Silence intermingles with the circle, no one quite knowing what to say. Reaching down, Peggy links her fingers with Angie in comfort.

It is possible they will never come back from this.

**_*3 days earlier*_ **

“Peggy can we just live here?” Angie says, with a mouthful of food.

A ripple of laughter erupts from around the able and Peggy smiles from where she is sat next to Angie. “I think Pepper might have something to say against that.”

“Oh no.” Pepper is sat at the head of the table, next to Tony. “I’m fine with it, I actually need people here to keep me sane.”

“I’m here.” Tony whines.

“Yes that’s why I need someone here to keep me sane.” Pepper smiles sweetly.

“I can see that.” Steve quips, unhelpfully.

Shooting Steve a death glare, Tony fires back. “Shut up grandpa, I would say you were just jealous of the stark tower but I doubt you are considering you don’t know how a computer works.”

“That was cold Tony.” Sam defends Steve.

“So was Steve.”

Natasha laughs earning a grumpy look from Sam. “What? You did walk into that one.”

“Clint?” Steve looks to his friend for help.

“Sorry man.” Clint shrugs, eating. “I’m just here for the food.”

“Yeah it is really good.” Angie agrees. “Thanks Pepper.”

“Thank you.” Peggy echoes her girlfriend.

“Pepper made this?” Steve gestures to his food.

Nodding, Pepper confirms. “Yup.”

“Oh.” Steve smiles obnoxiously. “Well in that case it is very lovely.”

“What if I’d made it?” Angrily, Tony questions.

“Well then it would be horrible.”

“Jeez guys.” Angie stands up. “I was just complimenting the food. No need for a civil war or anything.”

“Oh.” Dismissing Angie’s worries, Tony smiles. “There won’t be an actual war. Probably.”

“Lucky for you with your height.” Quietly, Steve mumbles.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Tony continues. “I would win an actual war anyway.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Yes I would.”

“You’re a shrimp human in a toy suit.”

“At least _I_ invented my weapon, yours is just something _my_ dad made for you.”

“Yeah because your dad actually paid attention to me.”

Slamming his hands on the table, Tony stands up. “That’s it, Rogers!”

“Oh yeah?” Steve stands up too, glaring at Tony.

“Listen children!” Natasha stands up too. “I think we all know that I would win a war if one happened so with that news can we all sit down and enjoy this mean. Without behaving like toddlers.”

“Yes Natasha.” Tony and Steve mumble, before sitting down again.

Peggy, who had gone back to eating her dinner, looks up to see Angie’s face contorted. Leaning in so that her chin rests on Angie’s shoulder, Peggy inquires. “What is it?”

“I was just thinking…” Angie drifts off, turning and placing a kiss on Peggy’s forehead.

“That’s always dangerous.” Peggy jokes. “What were you thinking about?”

“Well,” Angie begins. “Steve and Tony are always fighting, I was just trying to think of a way to stop them for good.”

“I think the only thing that could stop that is death.” Morbidly, Peggy jokes.

“Good idea.” Angie chuckles. “Natasha.”

“Yeah.” Natasha looks over from where she was having a quiet conversation with Clint.

“Oh.” Angie waves it off. “Never mind, just a joke.”

Shrugging, Natasha goes back to her conversation and Peggy smiles as she watches Clint mime knitting to Natasha and Natasha’s face fall to one of confusion.

Angie jumps a little in her seat and Peggy turns to see a light in her eyes. “No.” Peggy warns.

“But…”

“No.” Shaking her head now, Peggy smiles. “Whatever it is, it’s probably a bad idea.”

“No it’s not!” Angie smiles. “It’s an excellent idea.”

“Angie n-”

“Steve!” Angie calls. “Will you come over here?”

“Sure.” Steve stands up, moving over to Angie. “What can I help you with?”

“Well,” Angie begins. “I was thinking about how you and Tony fight. Like all the time.”

“Stuff I already know.” Steve comments, and Peggy has to admit that it’s quite funny to see her tiny girlfriend trying to debate with the large muscular man that is Captain America.

“Yes I know!” Angie huffs. “Let me finish!”

“Alright.” Steve visibly gulps and Peggy supresses a laugh at the fact Steve is scared of a 5’5’’ blonde woman.

“Have you heard of dubsmash?” Angie asks.

“No.” Steve replies. “Is that something digital?”

“Basically.” Angie shrugs.

Leaning over, Natasha smiles wickedly. “Did someone say dubsmash?”

“Yes!” Angie grins. “You know of it?”

“Yep. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Uh huh.” Nods Angie.

“Great.” Hopping up onto the table, Natasha grabs the attention of the table. “Dubsmash war!”

*

“So here are the rules.” Natasha paces in front of everyone. “It’s Steve versus Tony, hopefully they can get all of their agro male aggression, sexual tension, too much testosterone bullshit so that they don’t argue when we’re around because _it is tiring._ However, Steve gets to have Angie and me on his team and Tony you can pick two people.”

“Sam and Clint.” Tony grins, knowing his choice will annoy Natasha and Steve.

“Ugh.” Natasha grimaces. “Fine. Anyway, the rules are, dubsmash to the death. The first team to get tired or surrenders wins. Shake on it.”

Steve steps forwards and so does Tony and they shake hands. Stepping back, the two men immediately turn to their teams and rush off, leaving Pepper and Peggy standing dumbfounded in the room.

“Should we…?” Peggy begins.

“I think we should just let it play out.” Pepper shrugs.

“Uh huh?” Peggy stands in place as Pepper walks off.

“Would you like a margarita?”

“God yes.”

*

“Alright team. You say you can download any song or audio to this thingy right?”

“Dubsmash.” Natasha fills in. “And yes.”

“Okay…” Steve ponders. “So we should do an offensive song or something right?”

“Right.” Angie nods. “Though it doesn’t really have to be offensive, more… just better than them.”

“Oh what great advice Angie.” Steve says sarcastically. “How are we going to do this I don’t really know any songs.”

“Well I’ve got a classic starting point.” Natasha smiles.

*

“Shit.” Tony glares at his phone.

“What?” Sam asks, leaning in.

“Straight out of the bag they’ve hit us with a rickroll.”

“Okay, but we can beat that right.” Sam offers.

“Of course we can beat that.” Tony locks his phone. “It’s just a question of how.”

“Umm, we could…”

“Could what?” Tony prods.

“Umm.”

“Clint?” Asks Tony desperately.

Holding both his hands up, Clint shrugs. “Dude I don’t even know why I’m here. I’ll just do what you tell me.”

“Umm.” Sam cuts in. “How about Taylor Swift?”

“You listen to Taylor Swift.”  Tony scoffs.

Fixing Tony with his best glare, Sam raises an eyebrow. “Don’t even pretend that you don’t Tony.”

“Fine. Which song?”

Sam grins. “I know exactly which one.”

*

The next morning, Peggy makes her way over to the Stark tower and eventually ends up sitting on one of Tony’s couches, the sun blaring in through the countless windows and Pepper next to her. “You know, I’ve barely even spoken to my girlfriend since this started.”

“It’ll pass.” Pepper reassures, though she’s more reassuring herself than Peggy.

“That’s what you said yesterday.”

“I know.”

“It hasn’t stopped.”

“I know.”

“Should we just leave it?”

“Knowing Tony that’s probably best.” Pepper shrugs. “Not much else to do really.”

“Do you have a list of what songs have been done so far?”

“Nope.” Pepper sighs. “I lost track after What the Hell by Avril Lavigne.”

“Hmm.” Peggy furrows her eyebrows. “Which team was low enough to stoop to Avril?”

“Steve’s.”

Chuckling, Peggy nods. “Yep that was probably Angie.”

“You know.” Pepper turns her head to face Peggy. “As annoying as his whole dubsmash thing is, at least it gets them out our hair.”

“I don’t want Angie out my hair.” Whines Peggy.

“Aww.” Pepper sympathises. “Well it should be over soon.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

*

Natasha puts down the phone, “Yep Maria’s coming in.”

“Isn’t that cheating?” Angie questons.

“Nope.” Natasha smiles. “I made up the rules remember. And Agent Hill _wants_ to come in.”

“Okay.”

“Oh boy.” Steve grins. “I can’t wait to see the look on Tony’s face.

*

“They got Maria.” Tony watches the dubsmash again as it repeats.

“Well crap.” Sam speaks. “What do we do now?”

“Well.” Tony pulls out his phone. “This calls for drastic measures.”

“Coulson?” Sam questions.

“No.” Tony shakes his head. “Coulson would never go against Steve. I’ll get Fury.”

“No.” Sam shakes his head. “Fury would _never_ agree to that.”

“Actually.” Tony puts his phone up to his ear, ignoring all the missed calls from Pepper. “You’d be surprised what that man would do for doughnuts.”

*

“It should be over soon.” Pepper almost screams, a day later. “I can’t go five minutes without hearing a stupid song being played out of tinny speakers. I can’t see them but I can hear them. And almost half of the SHEILD agents are just wandering about. What happened to the good old days when everything was top secret?”

“Like you ever respected classified areas.” Peggy scoffs.

“Yeah but it was nice when everyone else did.”

Silence falls and Peggy fidgets. “Do you know where team Steve is?”

 “Yeah they’re on the fourth floor why?”

Sheepishly, Peggy looks up.

“No.” Pepper instructs. “No Peggy. You can’t just leave me here on my own. “

“I miss her so much. She didn’t even come home yesterday.”

“You are _not_ joining this.”

“I’m sorry.” Peggy offers, before stepping into the elevator and pressing the four button. The last thing she sees before the doors shut is a mixture of desperation and disappointment on Peppers face.

*

“Peggy.” Angie leaps forwards and gives Peggy, who just walked in the door, a kiss. “Are you joining us?”

“Yep.” Peggy smiles. “And I happen to be amazing at dubsmash.”

“Yes!” Steve fist pumps the air. “Oh we are _so_ winning.”

 *

Tony’s mouth drops as he watches Peggy perfectly lip sync to We are the champions. “There’s only one way we can beat this.”

“What? How?” Sam asks.

“Does it include archery or making fine wool products because those are my talents?” Clint supplies.

“What?” Tony’s brow furrows. “No. We need Pepper.”

“Oh yeah Pepper. Right.” Clint nods. “So how do we get Pepper?”

“Let’s go find her.”

*

“Pepper!” Tony spots his girlfriend from the other side of the room. Gesturing to Sam and Clint to follow, he walks forwards to meet Pepper.

“Tony!” Pepper smiles with relief. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Can you be in our next video?”

“What.” Pepper can feel irritation itching under her skin.

“I said, can you be in our n-”

“No.” Pepper says poisonously. “I know what you said. I was just processing.”

“Are you done processing yet?” Bluntly, Tony asks. “Because we kinda need you in our next video.”

“You know what Tony? This needs to stop.” Pepper bursts. “I’ve barely seen you in three days because of this, and this tower, _our_ tower, has become a madhouse!”

“But-”

Tony is cut off by Pepper grabbing him by the ear and pulling him over to the elevator. “Come on, we’re going to go stop this nonsense. You two as well!”

Reluctantly, Clint and Sam shuffle into the elevator.

*

“So here’s our game plan.” Steve points at the piece of paper. “If they respond we hit back with this yoga pose, but lip sync at the same time. Got it?”

“Uh huh.” Natasha looks at the image. “I guess I’m doing the handstand on top.”

“Yep and I’ll be the one holding everyone up on the bottom.” Steve explains.

Peggy is just about to ask where she and Angie will go when Pepper comes crashing in through the door, dragging Tony behind her. “This needs to stop.”

“You surrender?” Steve asks gleefully.

“No.” Tony shrugs out of Pepper’s grip. “Never.”

“Well it sure looks like it.”

“Listen.” Pepper steps into the middle of the room. “You lot are supposed to be superheroes, the world’s saviours. I have spent three days listening to you parade around like children and I _have had enough._ Someone has to give in.”

Folding his arms over his chest, Steve shakes his head. “Not us.”

“Us. Neither.” Determined, Tony gets out his phone.

“No!” Going to grab Tony’s phone out of his hand, Pepper reaches out, but accidentally drops it on the floor in the process.

Silence falls around the room, moths open in shock and everyone is at a loss for words.

Peggy links her hand with Angie’s.

Fuming, Pepper looks down in shock at the broken phone on the floor. “I-”

Suddenly, Tony starts laughing. Guffawing loudly, bent over and eyes streaming. One by one everyone else joins in. Pepper looks confused.

“Honestly Pepper, that was a bit agro of you. I think the green bean has competition.”

“You’re not mad.” Pepper asks timidly.

“Of course not. I’m a millionaire! If there’s one thing that doesn’t matter it’s a broken phone.”

Steve smiles. “Truce?”

“Sure buddy.” Tony shrugs. “Whatever.”

Clint sighs with relief, leaving the room. “Finally I can finish that scarf.” He mutters.

Looking at Angie, Peggy smiles. “Home?”

Angie nods. “Home.”

“Steve how about you and I get a drink.” Tony suggests.

“Sure.”

“I’m glad it came to a truce you know.”

“That’s because you would have lost.”

“That is so not true.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it isn’t.”

“There’s only one way to solve this.”

“What?”

“Mario Kart.”

From behind them, Pepper facepalms. “Oh sweet baby Jesus help me.”

“It’s okay.” Natasha pats her on the back. “I can beat anyone at Mario Kart. It’ll be over soon.”

“You’ll be surprised.”

**Author's Note:**

> piegodess.tumblr.com. it me.


End file.
